Ah Beng

Keep On Rockin'
Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
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Ah Beng bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,' My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610 '=====================================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .Friend: Really, what is he studying.Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
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Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?Wife: No! I ' ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?Ah Beng : No, I ' ll also stay with your sister.
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Ah Beng : People consider me as a ' GOD 'Wife: How do you know??Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,Oh GOD! U have come again.
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Ah Beng complained to the police: ' Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house. 'Police: ' How the thief did not take TV? 'Ah Beng : ' I was watching TV news... '=====================================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying ' Parking Fine 'He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ' Thanks for complement. '=====================================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erasesthe board.
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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.
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Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up andSays ' Hello, how did you know I was here? '
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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cupAh Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?=====================================================
Teacher: ' I killed a person ' convert this sentence into future tenseAh Beng : The future tense is ' u will go to jail '
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Ah Beng told his servant: ' Go and water the plants! 'Servant: ' It ' s already raining. 'Ah Beng : ' So what? Take an umbrella and go. '=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and notin the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

English - From around the World

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THEMANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD ISIMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUTTHEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTINGBEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIANAND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITETHAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVETOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THISPURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THEOPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USEDFOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOONHAVING A GOOD TIME.